Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The LITTLE MERMAID: ARIEL'S BEGINNING

(9 of 10)

Journey back to Atlantica and see how it all began... but where's Ursula? My only complaint with the film is there is no Ursula!!! Which is why it doesn't recieve 10 stars. But all in all it's a very good film. We get to see Ariel's mother and what happened to her and we see the changes that happen after her death. We meet flounder for the first time and see the relationship Ariel has with all of her sisters. It's beautifully animated and is full of enchanting storytelling. And with Sally Field playing the villain, what's not to love?

6 FILMS TO KEEP YOU AWAKE (3-Disc Set)

This Horror Anthology contains six films and all of them are in SPANISH! I'm not mad about it because alot of them were actually good... but I figured I'd make it a point to let you all know that these films are NOT in English.
Now let's review...

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BLAME
(5 of 10)

I'm still not sure what to think about this one... a doctor that performs semi-illegal abortions at her home office is a lesbian who lusts for her straight roommate and then there's the roommate's frighteningly disturbed daughter that may or may not be evil. It was a little too much to figure out for me. And I'm still not sure what the ending of it actually meant.


SPECTRE
(8 1/2 of 10)

The story of a woman acused of being a witch and the boy that is haunted by the memory of her throughout his life is one that is worth hearing. Spectre is a haunting little tale that will chill you to the bone...


A REAL FRIEND
(6 of 10)

A young girl with a vivid imagination lives in her own little world... And because most of us don't understand that world, most of us won't understand this film either. I do like the Leatherface-looking imaginary friend though.


A CHRISTMAS TALE
(10 of 10)

This creepy tale is about money-hungry children who play with fire when they decide to keep a criminal in a hole in the woods to extort her for the reported 2 million dollars she stole. When she escapes she's out for blood and she's come to collect!!!
I Love this movie. This one is worth the cost of the set by itself.


THE BABY'S ROOM
(7 1/2 of 10)

A man goes crazy when he thinks someone is trying to kill his baby. His wife goes crazy after thinking he's trying to kill their baby. And soon he finds out that his house is the doorway to a parallel universe where he lives in another time and is trying to kill his baby and his wife... If you understood all that you may like this film too.


TO LET
(9 1/5 of 10)

A young couple is lured to a hotel that has definately seen better days. The insane landlady will stop at nothing to make sure they stay, even if it means killing them!
This is so creepy and a really good movie that it's a must-see in my book.

The NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

( 10 of 10 )

I recently picked up the new 2-Disc Collector's Edition. And I must say I'm pretty impressed. The Packaging is beautiful, the film looks great. The Special Features are fantastic. It's a nostalgic little box set full of memories that you can share with your family. Go out and purchase your copy today!

SEED

( 0 of 10 )

Alright let's just say I didn't see the REAL (Yes, REAL!!!) Animal Torture Footage in the beginning of the film. And say I just watched the rest... It was still a piece of crap! It had this one particular scene in which this pyscho they call Seed repeatedly beats a woman tied to a chair with a hammer-sized hatchet for over 2 minutes until her skull comes open and he then sticks the hatchet handle in her head. I'm usually all for graphic violence but after showing that scene, which I may say had NOTHING to do with the rest of the movie it just made me sick. It was simply Stupid and Apalling. I don't think that I have ever been more disgusted with a movie in my entire life. First off, NO ONE WANTS TO SEE ANIMALS BEING SLAMMED TO THE GROUND AND BEATEN TO DEATH AND SKINNED ALIVE AND TORTURED IN A HORROR MOVIE!!! It just made me so angry that someone in the studio thought that this was entertaining. Thus the reason this movie, SEED, is the first-ever film to get a ZERO STAR RATING. Avoid this like the plague... it's disgusting.

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IT'S A BOY GIRL THING

( 8 of 10 )

A Funny little comedy about body-swapping teenage neighbors. It's been done before, but it's still a really funny story. Kevin Zegers and Samaire Armstrong star in this entertaining feature full of gags that will make you laugh throughout. I say: See It!

Monday, September 15, 2008

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE

( 9 of 10 )

A disturbing little film by director Mair Zarchi. I Spit On Your Grave is the tale of a woman who is brutally beaten, raped repeatedly and left for dead. And instead of going to the police, decides to take vengeance into her own hands and get even! The first half of the film is quite hard to watch because of what this poor woman goes through and by the end of it you're practically cheering for her as she gets her turn and exacts bloody revenge. It's a cult phenomenon and if you're into cult classics, you'll definately want to see this. But I do warn, it's VERY GRAPHIC and is truly for an adult-only audience!

GOSSIP GIRL: The Complete First Season

( 9 of 10 )

This soapy little drama is quite entertaining. In the world of Manhattan's elite, it seems everyone wants to be at the top of the social ladder and everyone's fightning to stay there. If you've never seen the series but think you may like it, I'd definately pick it up. Even if you decide you hate it, I'm sure you'd know someone that you could give it to...

DEXTER: The Complete Second Season

( 10 of 10 )

The story arc this season takes a dramatic turn and Dexter's past starts to catch up with him. Being a serial killer has never been harder as he tries to maintain a normal relationship with Rita and the kids, a low-profile at work, and continue to extinguish the scum of Miami at the same time... welcome to Season 2 of DEXTER!

HEROES: SEASON 2

( 9 1/2 of 10 )

This season of the popular drama, Heroes, was lacking a couple things that were in the last season of the series. But it still packs a punch and keeps entertaining you the whole way through so I guess that's all you can really ask for. Without giving anything away, I didn't like one of our characters becoming the bad boy and losing his memory till the end of the season. I also don't know how I feel about the new character of Miah, she could be trouble, whether she means to be or not. I love that Matt and Claire's powers, along with others, are getting stronger! Season 3 definately has some shoes to fill... If you love the show than I really don't need to tell you to go buy the set because it's worth every penny.

The GOONIES

( 10 of 10 )

I recently purchased the DVD and thought I'd give my review of the film... You'd have to be dead to not have at least heard of it. And if you haven't seen it, I demand you get up go to the video store and rent it immediately as I can not imagine anyone being dissappointed after watching this film. It's a contemporary story about a group of friends that call themselves the "Goonies" trying to save their neighborhood from being bought out from under them. After they find a map to a buried treasure the goonies are off and the adventure of a lifetime begins...

DR. GIGGLES

( 8 of 10 )

It's so cheesy it's good! I like that it doesn't take itself too seriously and is good at what it does: Creeps you out and makes you laugh at the same time. It's definately worth a watch at your next movie night!

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STAND BY ME

( 10 of 10 )

The story of four boys in a small town and the adventure of a lifetime is a story that shouldn't be missed. Made in 1986, I had never seen it until a couple weeks ago and it was really good. They truly don't make movies like this anymore. It's a dramatic coming-of-age story about friendship and growing up. Not to be missed...

TWO WEEKS

( 10 of 10 )

A Powerful and compelling Drama that will make you laugh, cry and feel for Sally Field's character as she portrays a terminally-ill woman waiting to die with her children by her side. It's an amazing film that cannot be missed...

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ROGUE

( 9 of 10 )

This crocodile opus really bites! (in a good way) I was expecting a straight-to-video nightmare with bad CGI. And it really isn't like that. It's a little slow-paced but I think that it works with this particular story. Michael Vartan and Radha Mitchell are flawless in the film. Check it out the next time you're at the video store...

OTIS

( 8 1/2 of 10 )

Otis tells the story of an overweight Psychotic Pizza Man that kidnaps the daughter of a suburban family who will stop at nothing for revenge. It's a great blend of Dark Comedy and Horror. It was a Blast, a real crowd-pleasing movie that warrents a movie night with your friends. So get the popcorn ready.

DOOMSDAY

( 8 of 10 )

Now this was a fun movie... It's got alot of action and gore. It's got cannibals and explosions, and a pretty good story to boot. Which is more than I can say for alot of films lately. The Unrated version was pretty good as well and if you like the Action-Horror genre I would definately recommend you check this one out!

The PROM NIGHT Franchise

Alright since I've recently purchased and watched all 5 films in the franchise in one sitting, I've decided to review these as a franchise collection, as I've done with the TCM Franchis...


PROM NIGHT (1980)
( 10 of 10 )

I LOVE THIS MOVIE... It was at the very end of the '70s and served as one of the first "Teen Slasher Movies". I will always have respect for it because of that alone. But on another note, I loved Jamie Lee Curtis in it. It had a nice plot twist that I don't think alot of people expected until the very end. It's without a doubt the best film in the franchise.




HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II (1987)
( 9 1/5 of 10 )

I Like the fact that it's a fun Horror-Comedy and hate the fact that it has NOTHING to do with the previous film. It wasn't what I expected the sequel to be about, but at the same time, I'm not Bitching either because it's still a good film on its own. But if you're expecting a continuation of the first film you may want to sit this one out. But if you've never seen the first film you can still appreciate the film for what it is: A Great Popcorn Flick!




PROM NIGHT III: THE LAST KISS (1990)
( 8 of 10 )

This film follows the story of Mary Lou Maloney. It's a pretty good Horror Comedy. But don't see the version that's on the Region 1 double feature disc of P.N. 3+4 together, as you get the cut-to-shit version that removed all the language, nudity, and the gore shots. (Which is the version I have) Region 1 doesn't have the original uncut version on DVD at all. So if you wanna see it the way it was meant to be seen, you'll have to dig out the old VHS release of it. Or get the australian disc and a region free dvd player. (or the software to make your PC play any region discs)




PROM NIGHT IV: DELIVER US FROM EVIL (1992)
( 4 of 10 )

This was really hard for me to enjoy. Especially since this one doesn't have anything to do with any of the films in the franchise. Instead this one deals with a supernatural priest killing teens at an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. It's not something I would seek out unless you're like me and have to see EVERY film in the franchise.




PROM NIGHT (2008)
( 7 of 10 )

When this was first announced I was all excited to see them remake one of my favorite slasher films. Then, I was dissappointed to see that this is a remake in name-only. It has nothing to do with the story of the original and instead tells a different story all-together. I've seen the Unrated version and still can't tell what they put back in. I mean it still plays out as a PG-13 "Teen" Horror Movie. And it does accomplish that: because I think only the teen-age audience is going to enjoy it.

TERMS Of ENDEARMENT

(8 of 10)

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I recently got yelled at for not having seen this movie. So I went out and bought it for 10 bucks and watched it. Hearing people compare it to Steel Magnolias, I knew I would like it, and I did. But I would NEVER have compared it to Steel Magnolias because S.M. was a fantastic movie. I mean I liked this one but it doesn't compare to S.M. and never will. Alot of people would disagree with me on this but that's my opinion. Having said that, I would still definately recommend that if you haven't seen it, See IT!

The RUINS (Unrated)

(8 of 10)



It was a whole lot better than I expected. I watched this for the mere reason that Jonathan Tucker was in it. I loved him in The Texas Chainsaw redux and thought I'd give this a chance. I liked it, it had alot of cliche "Horror Movie" moments, but I really don't know any horror movie that doesn't have them. So I would say that it's very worth a watch...

Friday, August 8, 2008

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT

( 6 of 10 )



Well I finally got around to watching one of the most notorious films of all time: Silent Night, Deadly Night. I picked it up at Circuit City for like $7.00 a couple months ago and just got around to watching it. I was pleasantly surprised to see that it didn't suck. It was actually an alright slasher film with some alright gore scenes. It wasn't spectacular, but it's still worth a watch if you've never seen it. But you do have to see the "Uncut" version on DVD from Starz Home Entertainment if you see it.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE Franchise

Rather than posting 6 Different Reviews in 6 Different posts, I've decided to compile all six of these together...

Let me start by stating that I LOVE THIS SERIES. There isn't one bad entry (in my opinion). But I'm gonna start with:



THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)
( 10 of 10)

This is the masterpiece that shocked the world and got banned in numerous countries for being "too disturbing" or "too graphic", even though there's not a whole lot of gore or blood in the entire film. But there isn't a shortage of terror either. It's creepy and eerie from the very beginning. The corpse on the tombstone was a hell of a film-opener. And the "true story" scroll screen made it that much more effective. It has terrified audiences for decades and has the power to continue doing that for years to come. If you haven't seen it, I demand you go watch it right now!




THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE II
( 9 1/2 of 10 )

Although it doesn't reflect the original film very well, aside from the fact that Lefty Enright is on a man-hunt for the cannibalistic family responsible for the disappearance of his brothers kids, (Sally and Franklin), it's still a great entry in the franchise. It feels very '80s, which works well for the film. This is the one that has all the gore! LG getting his face cut off and the bunch of guts spilling out of the wall when Lefty puts a whole in it, along with the body parts hanging on meat hooks, it was all so disgusting ...and I LOVED IT! This is definitely a must-see. Even if you're not a Chainsaw Fan, it's still a great popcorn flick.




LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III
( 8 of 10 )

Once again the family dynamics of Leatherface's clan change entirely. But I Still Liked it. This outing follows 2 collegians on their way across open deserted roads. Soon they run into some real trouble... Leatherface's demented "Family" and realize that if they want to stay alive, their gonna have to fight like hell! The DVD for this film has both Theatrical and Unrated Cuts, but you HAVE TO watch the UNRATED Version to get all the gore and nastiness...




TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION
( 7 1/2 of 10 )

Here is indeed the weakest of the franchise. It's not great, but it sure isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It STILL beats 98% of all the Straight-To-DVD Horror Movies out there today! This one has Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger. In this installment, Leatherface is a cross-dressing, wimpy face-wearing psycho: How's that for a twist?




THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)
( 10 of 10 )

Okay, Here It Is: The BEST CHAINSAW MOVIE in the series! Well... It's a tie! This one ties with the original. I like them both for different reasons. I like the original for it's grittiness and brutatlity and the ability to get under your skin. While I like the remake for it's entertainment value, for it's shock factor and the overwhelming sense of dread that feel for its characters. I love the cast in the remake and truly feel that it couldn't have been done much better. This is the film that made Leatheface scary again. This is the first remake that most people didn't bitch about and actually liked. So if you're avoiding this film simply because it's a remake... DON'T! If you haven't seen it go see it. In fact, rent or buy this and the original and view together and make your own dicision on which one's better.




THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING
( 9 1/2 of 10 )

Witness the birth of fear... Literally. This is the latest in the franchise and I must say, it was pretty brutal. We get everything we wanted: We see leatherface's first kill, his first chainsaw kill, how he gets his first mask, how Old Monty loses his legs, and how Sheriff Hoyt became the Sheriff. It's all here and more. It seems that some people have beef with this one and I'm not really sure why. I liked it and if you haven't seen it: don't judge it based on what people are telling you and see it for yourself...

Journey to the Center of the Earth (1989)

( 1 of 10 )

No, I'm not talking about the one it theatres right now with Brendan Fraser. I'm talking about the 1989 snore-fest of the same title. It's BAD ...and I mean really bad. With such an incoherant storyline and unlikable characters. I mean there really isn't alot going for this film. There is one reason to watch it though: The crazy black-haired rocker chick! She's looks badass!

(I'd post the trailer here but it's sooo bad that there isn't one online!)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Lost Boys: The Tribe

( 4 1/2 of 10 Stars )

I went into this with an open mind and too high of expectations... Which of coarse meant i came out of it truly disappointed. I mean, although it did have a few good points. Emphasis on the word "FEW", it felt like what it was. Instead of feeling like the much-anticipated sequel to the cult phenomen that is the original film, it felt like a Made-for-DVD follow-up with little to do with its prodecesor. So in closing, i would recommend that you skip it entirely or catch it on cable.

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